There Were Two Irishmen Eating

My Idea For Peace In The Middle East Is To Go Back To The 1966 Line, But To Build Even More Houses For The Palestinians, Who Are A Poor People.

A Girl Asks Her Doctor, "doctor, I've Forgotten To Take My Contradictory Pill!" The Doctor Says: "are You Ignorant?" The Girl Says: "yes, Three Months!"

My Irish Mate Told Me, If You File Down The Edges Of A 50 Pence Piece, You Can Use It As A 10p.

I've Been Married To My Wife For 60 Years But It Feels Just Like Yesterday, And You Know What A Bloody Awful Day Yesterday Was.

I'm Staying In A Lovely Hotel, Dressing Robe Behind The Door, Lovely Fluffy Sheets - Took Me A Half An Hour Getting My Suitcase Closed.