I Said To The Waitress,

A Man Walked Into A Shop And Asked, "how Much Are Your Eggs?" He Said "£1.40 A Dozen". He Then Asked: "how Much Are Your Cracked Ones?" He Said: "35p". He Said: "crack Us Four Dozen."

What's The Difference Between My Wife And A Terrorist? You Can Negotiate With A Terrorist.

I Said To The Waitress, "there's A Fly Swimming In My Soup." She Said: "you've Got Too Much Soup - He Should Only Be Able To Paddle."

There Was A Man Sitting In The Dining Room Of The Titanic, He Said: "i Know I Asked For Ice, But This Is Ridiculous."

It's My Wife Ruth's Birthday Soon. I Said To Her: "what Would You Like For Your Birthday?" She Said: "i Want A Divorce." I Said: "i Wasn't Planning On Spending That Much."