So I Rang Up British

My Uncle Jimmy Took Liver Salts Twice A Day For 40 Years. He Died On Sunday, Was Buried Wednesday And The Following Friday They Had To Go To The Cemetery To Beat His Liver To Death With A Stick.

A Man Was Found Dead Covered In Sprinkles, Strawberry Sauce And A Flake. Reports Said He May Have Topped Himself.

My Wife Said To Me: 'if You Won The Lottery, Would You Still Love Me?' I Said: 'of Course I Would. I'd Miss You, But I'd Still Love You.'

My Idea For Peace In The Middle East Is To Go Back To The 1966 Line, But To Build Even More Houses For The Palestinians, Who Are A Poor People.

I'm Really Worried About My Girlfriend's Morals ... She Has Next Written On Her Knickers.