I'm Really Worried About My

I Was In The Far East And I Went Into A Restaurant And I Ordered Octopus And The Waiter Said: "it Takes Four Hours." I Asked Why And He Said: "it Keeps Turning Off The Gas."

What's The Difference Between My Wife And A Terrorist? You Can Negotiate With A Terrorist.

My Uncle Jimmy Took Liver Salts Twice A Day For 40 Years. He Died On Sunday, Was Buried Wednesday And The Following Friday They Had To Go To The Cemetery To Beat His Liver To Death With A Stick.

Men Only Go For Skinny Women Because They're Too Weak To Argue - And Salads Are Cheap.

My Father Fought In World War I And Single-handedly Destroyed The Germans' Line Of Communication. He Ate Their Pigeon.