There Are Very Few Japanese

There's Only One Critic Whose Opinion I Really Value, In The Final Analysis: Johnny Carson. I Have Never Needed Any Entourage Standing Around Bolstering My Ego. I'm Secure. I Know Exactly Who And What I Am. I Don't Need To Be Told. I Make No Apologies For Being The Way I Am.

Anytime Four New Yorkers Get Into A Cab Together Without Arguing, A Bank Robbery Has Just Taken Place.

May You Have The Income Of A Republican And The Sex Life Of A Democrat!

Happiness Is A Tiger In Your Tank And A Pussycat In Your Back Seat.

I'm Not One Of Those Who Spring Up Yelling, "yippee! Another Day!" I'll Grumble And Sulk Around A Couple Of Hours, Reading Newspapers And Trying To Pick Out An Idea I Might Do Something With On The Show. But I Don't Really Start Functioning Until Noon Or Later; Then About Two I Go To The Studio And The Pace Begins To Quicken.