The Hunchback Of Notre-dame, Who

Sure, I've Gotten Old. I've Had Two Bypass Surgeries, A Hip Replacement, New Knees... I've Fought Prostate Cancer And Diabetes. I'm Half Blind, Can't Hear Anything Quieter Than A Jet Engine, And Take 40 Different Medications That Make Me Dizzy, Winded, And Subject To Blackouts. I Have Bouts With Dementia, Poor Circulation, Hardly Feel My Hands Or Feet Anymore, Can't Remember If I'm 85 Or 92, But... Thank God, I Still Have My Florida Driver's License!

Dean Martin's Pancreas, Who Overheard His Liver Singing I Got A Right To Sing The Blues. Never Got A Dinner!

Joseph Cotten, Who Said, You Know How I Got My Name? Sammy Davis Picked It For Me. Never Got A Dinner!

Peter Minuet, Who Said To The Indians In Modern-day Manhattan, Will You Accept A Check From A Puerto Rican Bank? Never Got A Dinner!

Joan Rivers, Who Said To Marcel Marceau, Can We Talk? Never Got A Dinner!