Pliny The Elder, Who When

Moses, Who Said When The Red Sea Parted, What The Hell Was That? I Was Just Going In For A Dip! Never Got A Dinner!

Joe Torre, Who Switched To First Base Because He Didn't Want To Go Through Life As Chicken Catcher Torre. Never Got A Dinner!

Alexander The Great, Who Said On His Wedding Night, It's Only A Nickname. Never Got A Dinner!

Sure, I've Gotten Old. I've Had Two Bypass Surgeries, A Hip Replacement, New Knees... I've Fought Prostate Cancer And Diabetes. I'm Half Blind, Can't Hear Anything Quieter Than A Jet Engine, And Take 40 Different Medications That Make Me Dizzy, Winded, And Subject To Blackouts. I Have Bouts With Dementia, Poor Circulation, Hardly Feel My Hands Or Feet Anymore, Can't Remember If I'm 85 Or 92, But... Thank God, I Still Have My Florida Driver's License!

Pope John Paul Ii's Press Secretary, Who Said, See, If Only The Pope Were Italian, He Woulda Shot Back! Never Got A Dinner!