The Human Mind Is A

I'm Not Happy On Vacation. In Those Rare Times When I Have Three Hours With No Work I Have To Do, I'm Terribly Uncomfortable.

I Calculated The Total Time That Humans Have Waited For Web Pages To Load. It Cancels Out All The Productivity Gains Of The Information Age. Sometimes I Think The Web Is A Big Plot To Keep People Like Me Away From Normal Society.

Women Are Treated Differently By Society For Exactly The Same Reason That Children And The Mentally Handicapped Are Treated Differently.

In Japan, Employees Occasionally Work Themselves To Death. It’s Called Karoshi. I Don’t Want That To Happen To Anybody In My Department. The Trick Is To Take A Break As Soon As You See A Bright Light And Hear Dead Relatives Beckon.

I Keep Hearing The Argument That Some Things Are Constitutional While Other Things Are Not. The Idea Is That We Should Be In Favor Of All The Things That Were Decided Over 200 Years Ago By A Bunch Of Slave-owning Cross-dressers Who Pooped In Holes.