Somebody's Been Putting Pineapple Juice

Some Things Are Better Than Sex, And Some Are Worse, But There's Nothing Exactly Like It.

The Funniest Thing About Comedy Is That You Never Know Why People Laugh. I Know What Makes Them Laugh But Trying To Get Your Hands On The Why Of It Is Like Trying To Pick An Eel Out Of A Tub Of Water.

I Don't Know Why I Ever Come In Here. The Flies Get The Best Of Everything.

Some People Are Born Losers; Others Acquire The Knack Gradually.

I Drink Therefore I Am.