One Time My Whole Family

I Tell Ya, My Wife's A Lousy Cook. After Dinner, I Don't Brush My Teeth. I Count Them.

I'm A Bisexual; I Get It Maybe Twice A Year.

Look Out For Number One And Try Not To Step In Number Two.

Never Guess Your Wife's Size. Just Buy Anything Marked Petite And Hold On To The Receipt.

A Homeless Guy Came Up To Me On The Street, Said He Hadn't Eaten In Four Days. I Told Him, "man, I Wish I Had Your Willpower.