Never Ask Your Wife If

Never Use A Big Word When A Little Filthy One Will Do.

Happiness Is Being Stuck In An Elevator And Discovering The Ravishing Blonde With You Is A Liquor Salesman With A Case Of Samples.

I've Worked Ever Since I Was A Kid With A Two-bit Kit Of Magic Tricks Trying To Improve My Skills At Entertaining Whatever Public I Had - And To Make Myself Ready, Whenever The Breaks Came, To Entertain A Wider And More Demanding Public.

The Hollywood Tradition I Like Best Is Called Sucking Up To The Stars.

I Can't Say I Ever Wanted To Become An Entertainer. I Already Was One, Sort Of-around The House, At School, Doing My Magic Tricks, Throwing My Voice And Doing Popeye Impersonations. People Thought I Was Funny; So I Kind Of Took Entertaining For Granted It Was Inevitable That I'd Start Giving Little Performances.