My View Of Life Is,

Aids Is A Horrible Disease, And The People Who Catch It Deserve Compassion.

So Many Of These Comics Are Just Frustrated Singers Or Actors - They Want To Get A Gig Doing A Sitcom. It's Paint-by-the-numbers Comedy, Lame Joke-telling. They're Drawn To It As A Career Move.

When Has Stand-up Comedy Been Kind To Anyone? It Goes After Anyone Who's The Target. Comedy Attacks, Man.

John Goodman Isn't Fat. He's In A Category Beyond Fat. What Does One Call It? Whalelike.

I Have Lived A Carnal Life. My View Of Life Is 'if You're Going To Miss Heaven, Why Miss It By Two Inches? Miss It!' I Don't Have To Go Through The Thing Of Paying For It In The Next Life. I Know I'm Screwed In The Next Life.