My Dog Learned How To

When I Was Born I Was So Ugly The Doctor Slapped My Mother.

With My Old Man I Got No Respect. I Asked Him, "how Can I Get My Kite In The Air?" He Told Me To Run Off A Cliff.

When I Was A Kid I Got No Respect. When I Went On The Roller Coaster, My Old Man Told Me To Stand Up Straight.

I Stuck My Head Out The Window And Got Arrested For Mooning.

I Went To Look For A Used Car And Found My Wife's Dress In The Back Seat.