Motivation Is A Lotta Crap.

You're Not Drunk If You Can Lie On The Floor Without Holding On.

When Your Opponent's Sittin' There Holdin' All The Aces, There's Only One Thing To Do: Kick Over The Table.

I Once Shook Hands With Pat Boone, And My Whole Right Side Sobered Up!

I Was So Drunk Last Night I Fell Down And Missed The Floor.

I Don't Drink Anymore... I Freeze It And Eat It Like A Popsicle.