Last Week My Tie Caught

With Girls, I Don't Think Right. I Had A Date With One Girl, She Had Mirrors All Over Her Bedroom. She Told Me To Come Over And Bring A Bottle. I Got Windex.

I Live In A Bad Neighborhood. Why, I Saw Two Complete Strangers Share A Taxi - Yeah, One Guy Took The Radio And The Other Guy Took The Tires.

A Sense Of Humor Is Rare. It Isn't Telling A Joke About How There Are Three Ways To Get To Heaven. It's Being In A Restaurant And Hearing Someone Say, Everyone's Got Their Tale Of Woe, And Then Turning Around And Saying, Unfortunately, In Life, There's More Woe Than Tail.

I Was So Poor Growing Up...if I Wasn't A Boy...i'd Have Nothing To Play With.

I Haven't Spoken To My Wife In Years. I Didn't Want To Interrupt Her.