Last Week My Tie Caught

One Year They Asked Me To Be Poster Boy - For Birth Control.

Last Year My Birthday Cake Looked Like A Prairie Fire.

I Knew A Girl So Ugly That She Was Known As A Two-bagger. That's When You Put A Bag Over Your Head In Case The Bag Over Her Head Breaks.

My Uncle's Dying Wish - He Wanted Me On His Lap. He Was In The Electric Chair.

My Wife Has Cut Our Lovemaking Down To Once A Month, But I Know Two Guys She's Cut Out Entirely.