Larry King Is So Old,

You Don't Know Anything About Pain Until You've Seen Your Own Baby Drowned In A Tub... And You Definitely Don't Know Anything About How To Wash A Baby.

I Come Up With My Jokes By Thinking Of A Topic.

I Want To Get A Tattoo Of The Word Irony, Only Misspelled.

I Never Go See Live Comedy Shows Because I Just Sit In The Audience Thinking, "here's What I Would Say. Here's What I Would Do If I Got Up There." It Drives Me Crazy.

It's Always Difficult When Someone Close To You Passes Away. But It's Really Tough When They're On Top Of You.