I Come Up With My

I Can't Talk Politics With My Cousin Because He's Such A Hypocrite. He's Against The Death Penalty And He Hanged Himself.

I'm Really Proud Of The Album. It's Something I Always Wanted To Do But I Had To Wait Until I Was Ready. Shakespeare Is A Culmination Of Eight Years Of Stand Up Experience And Joke Writing. I Recorded Two Shows At The Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre In New York. The Crowds Were Great And That's What Really Makes An Album.

I Feel Like Every First Episode Of A Tv Show Is Bad, You Know, And It Always Improves.

Child Molesters Must All Think They've Got Huge Dicks.

The Best Way To Break Up With A Girl Is Like I'm Taking Off A Band-aid. Slowly And In The Shower.