I Feel Like Every First

God, That Anthony Jeselnik Show Sounds Really Funny.

My Ultimate Goal Is To Do Whatever I Want, Whenever I Want To Do It. And That Keeps Changing. I Didn't Want To Host My Own Show Until I Wrote For Someone Else's.

I Prefer To Sleep With Deaf Girls. Those Crazy Chicks Never Have A Safe Word.

I Hated My Mom For Not Letting Me Play Football As A Kid. So When I Have Kids Someday, I Guarantee They'll Never Meet Their Grandmother.

I'm Very Arrogant And Mean. I'm Almost Like A Bad Guy Professional Wrestler.