I've Got A Friend Who

As A Class, Jews Give Three Times As Much Money To Charity As Anybody Else, But They Feel Guilty About Their Wealth Anyway. They Simply Can't Accept The Idea Of Ever Being Republicans.

I Have Nothing But Love In My Heart And Everything I Say Is Just An Instrument For Laughs.

America Is The Only Country In The World Where You Can Burn The Flag But Can't Tear The Tag Off The Mattress.

Did You Ever Hear Of A Kid Playing Accountant - Even If They Wanted To Be One?

While I Have The Utmost Respect For People Who Practice The Christian Faith, The Fact Is, As Everyone Knows, I Am As Jewish As A Matzo Ball Or Kosher Salami.