I've Got A Friend Who

Did You Ever Hear Of A Kid Playing Accountant - Even If They Wanted To Be One?

Ladies And Gentlemen, You Can't Please Everyone. Take My Girlfriend - I Think She's The Most Remarkable Woman In The World. . . . That's Me . . . But To My Wife . . .

Jews Are The Best Dressers In The World. They Buy The Best Clothes, The Best Homes, The Best Cars. The Best Of Everything. The Only Thing Is, They Get It For Less.

I Was So Self -conscious, Every Time Football Players Went Into A Huddle, I Thought They Were Talking About Me.

I Always Thought Music Was More Important Than Sex—then I Thought If I Don't Hear A Concert For A Year-and-a-half It Doesn't Bother Me.