I've Given Up Reading Books.

I Never Watch The Dinah Shore Show- I'm A Diabetic.

I Don't Like To Play The Piano. It Makes Me Too Attractive.

When I Can't Sleep, I Read A Book By Steve Allen.

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I'm Schizophrenic, And So Am I.

What The World Needs Is More Geniuses With Humility; There Are So Few Of Us Left.