I've Been Very Lucky Because

Never Trust A Man, Who When Left Alone With A Tea Cosey... Doesn't Try It On.

Scottish-americans Tell You That If You Want To Identify Tartans, It's Easy - You Simply Look Under The Kilt, And If It's A Quarter-pounder, You Know It's A Mcdonald's.

Politically Correct Is The Language Of Cowardice.

If You Give People A Chance, They Shine.

I Spent The Whole Time Battering People I Liked And Singing With My Arm Round People I Loathed.