Never Trust A Man, Who

In Mexico, Everything On The Menu Is The Same Dish. The Only Difference Is The Way It's Folded.

Chic Murray Once Told Me He Fell In The Street, And A Woman Said To Him, "did You Fall?" He Said, "no, I'm Tryin' To Break A Bar Of Chocolate In My Back Pocket."

I Don't Like The Beach. I Think We Have No Business At The Beach At All, As A Species. We Don't Belong In The Sea. The Sea Is Full Of Things That Bite Us, Sting Us, Hurt The Soles Of Our Feet, And It's Extremely Cold. When Are We Gonna Take The Hint That The Things That Live In The Sea Don't Like Us?

,000 People In Hampden Park. Of Course They're All Scottish. Because No One Else Goes There. The English Have An Unwritten Rule: They Only Go To Places They Might Get Back From.

I Loathe Hecklers. I Haven't Got A Good Syllable To Say. When You Come Out Of The Club Circuit And Into The Concert Hall, They Should Be Gone. There's An Element Of Manners That Should Tell You That The Ticket Is Dear And It's A Different Venue.