I Spent The Whole Time

My Parents Used To Take Me To The Pet Department And Tell Me It Was A Zoo.

There's Nothing Like It, But It's Not As Good As You Think It's Going To Be. . . . I Was Disappointed Because There Are Records Of People Finding Things That Have Been There For Years. I Was Hoping For A Shirt Button, Or My Club's Badge - But Not A Sausage.

The World Needs More Edwin Morgans, People Who Can Take The Language And Swing It Round Their Heads And Don't Care What You Think.

Fame Is Being Asked To Sign Your Autograph On The Back Of A Cigarette Packet.

I'm A Big Fan Of The Mars Bar Diet. You Don't Eat The Mars Bar, You Stick It Up Your Arse And Let A Rottweiler Chase You Home.