It's Better To Be Happy

People Ask Me What I'd Most Appreciate Getting For My Eighty-seventh Birthday. I Tell Them, A Paternity Suit.

None Of Us Kids Had A Middle Name. We Were Lucky We Had Any Name At All. By The Time My Mother Got Around To Naming One, There Was Another On The Way.

Don't Stay In Bed, Unless You Can Make Money In Bed.

Tennis Is A Young Man's Game. Until You're 25, You Can Play Singles. From 25 To 35, You Should Play Doubles. I Won't Tell You Exactly How Old I Am, But When I Played, There Were 28 Men On The Court - Just On My Side Of The Net.

If You Stay In The Business Long Enough And Get To Be Old Enough, You Get To Be New Again.