If You Stay In The

Yale Men Do Not Like To Be Told Anything By People Who Didn't Go To Yale. The Closest I Came To Yale Was Once I Had One Of Their Padlocks.

I've Been A Straight Man For So Many Years That From Force Of Habit I Repeat Everything. I Went Out Fishing With A Fellow The Other Day And He Fell Overboard. He Yelled, Help! Help! Help! So I Said, Help? Help? Help? And While I Was Waiting For Him To Get His Laugh, He Drowned.

When I Die I Intend To Take My Music With Me. I Don't Know What's Out There, But I Want To Make Sure It's In My Key.

If You Live To Be One Hundred, You've Got It Made. Very Few People Die Past That Age.

The Secret Of A Good Sermon Is To Have A Good Beginning And A Good Ending, Then Having The Two As Close Together As Possible.