In My Youth, I Wanted

Santa Claus Has The Right Idea - Visit People Only Once A Year.

The Conductor Is A Peculiar Person. He Turns His Back On His Friends In The Audience, Shakes A Stick At His Players In The Orchestra, And Then Wonders Why Nobody Loves Him.

Many People Have Asked Me Why There Are Three Pedals In These Grand Pianos. Well The Pedal In The Middle Is There To Separate The Two Other Pedals.

I Don't Mind Growing Old. I'm Just Not Used To It.

That's Why I've Never Thought Of Retiring Because I Do It All The Time Whether On The Stage Or Off. I Found That In A Precarious Situation, A Smile Is The Shortest Distance Between People. When One Needs To Reach Out For Sympathy Or A Link With People, What Better Way Is There?