I'm Not A Comedy Writer,

I Think A Theater Show Is A Pure Version Of Me Doing My Material. The Theater Crowd Is A Bit More Polite, There Really Aren't Hecklers, And There Are A Lot Of People There To See Me, And They're Excited About The Jokes And Hanging Out With Me For A Show.

Halloween Is Just A Made Up Holiday, Created By The Razor Blade Industry.

I Have That Need In Me, I Want Everyone To Love Me, But I'm Embarrassed By That Need, So I Wanted To Cover It Up In My Persona. I Felt Like I Wouldn't Be Able To Do Stand-up For A Career If I Was Needy. I Didn't Want To Be Complaining Or Whining Onstage. I Wanted To Be Cool And Do Exactly What I Wanted To Do. That Way I Would Never Have To Change For Anybody.

That's The Worst Way You Can Hear About Comedy Material: From A Third Person's Blog Story That They Wrote When They Were Upset.

My Girlfriend Makes Me Want To Be A Better Person... So I Can Get A Better Girlfriend.