That's The Worst Way You

When I Die, I Want To Be Cremated With Everybody.

My Girlfriend Is Upset About Her New Haircut. I Don't Understand Why She's Crying. I'm The One Who Has To Get A New Girlfriend.

Jeff Ross Has Been Roasting People Since Whitney Cummings Was Nothing But A Glint In The Eye Of The Man Who Raped Her Mother.

I'm A Comedian And There Are A Lot Of Things I'm Still Learning. I Love One Liners Because I Love Smart Jokes. I Also Don't Like Complaining About Society Or Whining About My Life On Stage.

Every Year I Volunteer At A Hospital On Thanksgiving, Deep-frying Turkeys In The Children's Burn Unit. I Do It Just To See The Looks On Their Little "faces."