I'm Just A Person Trapped

I've Never Been Able To Write For Stand-up.

Horse Racing Is Waning In Popularity.

Wouldn’t It Be Great To See A Line In All Movie Credits That Truthfully Says, “nobody Was Harmed In The Making Of This Film, And At The Cast Party, All Animals Got A Belly Belly Belly Rub”.

There's Only One Difference Between Jews And Catholics. Jews Are Born With Guilt, And Catholics Have To Go To School To Learn It.

I Can Tell By Your Eye Shadow, You're From Brooklyn, Right? . . . Me Too. My Mother Has Plastic Covers On All The Furniture. Even The Poodle. Looked Like A Barking Hassock Walking Down The Street.