Stand-up Is Like A Movie

My Brother Is Gay And My Parents Don't Care, As Long As He Marries A Doctor.

I Never Minded Flying Cheap. I Always Said To Myself, 'taking This Flight Saves Enough Money To Rescue Four Dogs, Or Six Cats, Or Will Let Me Make A Difference To The One Woman Saving Chimps In Cameroon.'

The Thing About Breaking Up When You Get Older, You Just Don't Have The Steam Anymore. "oh, That's It. I Can't Start Shaving My Legs Above The Knee Again."

You Know You're Getting Fat When You Step On The Dog's Tail And He Dies.

I Love My Parents And They're Wonderful People, But They Were Strict, And I Still Look For Ways To Get Even. When I Got My Own Apartment For The Very First Time And They Came To Stay With Me For The Weekend, I Made Them Stay In Separate Bedrooms.