I'm Eventually Gonna Take The

There Are Certain Things I Don't Want To Joke About. If It's About Somebody Else, It's Fine. If It's About Me, I Think It's Totally Insensitive!

I've Never Understood People Who Say They're Not A Practicing Jew. You Never Hear A Black Guy Say He's Not A Practicing African-american. What Does It Even Mean?

I'd Like To Have A Kid, But I'd Probably Get A Frank Sinatra Jr. Instead Of A Gilbert Gottfried Jr. I'd Totally Screw Up Like That.

I Was Jewish, Through And Through, Although In Our House That Didn't Mean A Whole Lot. We Never Went To Synagogue. I Never Had A Bar Mitzvah. We Didn't Keep Kosher Or Observe The Sabbath. In Fact, I'm Not So Sure I Would Have Known What The Sabbath Looked Like If It Passed Me On The Street, So How Could I Observe It?

If You're A Lead Actor, People Are Just Waiting To Say 'you're Too Old' Or 'you're Too Unhip.' If You're A Supporting Actor, You Can Just Work Forever.