If You Have The Old

I Understand Being Less Sexy Than Osama Bin Laden, But Not Less Sexy Than Carrot Top. That, I Find Offensive.

One Thing I Can Take Credit For, Along With The Rest Of Show Business, Is When The Red Ribbons Were Out, We Cured Aids. Any Advancements That Came Towards Fighting Aids Were Not Done By Scientists Or Doctors - It Was People With Little Ribbons On Their Lapels.

I'm Used To Explaining To People Why My Jokes Were Funny.

I Was The Class Podiatrist. I Never Made It To Class Clown. I Wasn't Funny Enough. I Would Examine Feet And Prescribe And Ointment. It Was A Sad Childhood.

I Think Of Alan Thicke As Perry Como Without The Excitement.