You Never Know What People

I Always Try To Avoid Anything That Has To Do With My Life.

I Used To Go To The Improvisation Comedy Club Every Night In Times Square. How I Didn't Get Killed In That Area Either Means That 1) God Is Watching Over Me Or 2) I Am So Insignificant To God That He Didn't Bother Having Me Killed.

I Always Feel That Most Political Jokes, If You're Going To Do Them, You Have To Do Them Within The Next Five Minutes, Or Else They're Outdated. By The Time You've Got It To The Point That It's Strong, It Would Be 12 Years Old.

Reality Tv Has Totally Destroyed Soap Operas. They're Gone. They Used To Be The Biggest Thing In The World - They're Gone.

I'd Make Jack Benny Look Like A Philanthropist.