I'm Always Excited To Try

I'm Very Hip-oriented. I Focus On Hips In My Comedy - Probably More Than Any Other Hipster Comic Who Is Out There Hipping Today. My Hips, Other Hips. I Work With My Hips A Great Deal. That Is What I Do. But Not In A Gay Way.

I Always Try To Just Be Honest ... As Opposed To Artifice Or Manipulation.

When I Stub My Toe It's Like I Pressed A Button That Plays All The Curse Words I Know.

When They Were Naming The Animals, Somebody Got Lazy: Anteater? What's It Doing? It's Eating Ants. Done!

It Is Impossible For A Cyclops To Wink.