If You Don't Have Anything

My Father Always Wanted To Be The Corpse At Every Funeral, The Bride At Every Wedding And The Baby At Every Christening.

If You Can't Think Of Anything Nice To Say, Come Sit Here Beside Me.

If You Don't Have Anything Nice To Say About Anyone..come Sit By Me.

I Live By Three Rules: I Eat When I'm Hungry, Sleep When I'm Tired And Scratch When I Itch.

Never Trust A Man Who Combs His Hair Straight From His Left Armpit.