If Opportunity Doesn't Knock, Build

What An Orchestra! They Just Sit There, But Their Minds Are Thousands Of Miles Away With Their Bookies.

When I Was In School, One Of My Teachers Was Crazy About Me. I Once Heard Her Tell Another Teacher, "i Wish He Was My Kid For One Day!"

I Take New Years With A Grain Of Salt And Three Aspirins.

Santa Is Having A Tough Time This Year. Last Year He Deducted Eight Billion For Gifts, And The Irs Wants An Itemized List

I Don't Mind Personal Insults, But When You Insult The Jokes That I Tell You're Insulting Fred Allen, Bob Hope, Burns And Allen, Trevor Mcgee And Molly Picon.