If It Weren't For My

I Was So Wrinkled I Could Screw My Hats On.

The Last Thing My Kids Ever Did To Earn Money Was Lose Their Baby Teeth.

This Woman Was So Cross-eyed. She Can Go To A Tennis Match And Never Move Her Head.

We Spend The First Twelve Months Of Our Children's Lives Teaching Them To Walk And Talk And The Next Twelve Telling Them To Sit Down And Shut Up.

My Mother Hated Me. Once She Took Me To An Orphanage And Told Me To Mingle