I Once Dated A Girl

I'm At An Age Where I Think More About Food Than I Do About Sex. Last Week I Put A Mirror Over My Dining Room Table.

I Was An Ugly Kid; When I Was Born, After The Doctor Cut The Cord, He Hung Himself.

[on 8/24/04, Before Entering A Los Angeles Hospital For Heart Valve Replacement Surgery] If Things Go Right, I'll Be There About A Week, And If Things Don't Go Right, I'll Be There About An Hour And A Half.

It's Nice To Be The Best, But Not When Being The Best Brings Out The Worst In You.

My Wife And I Were Happy For 20 Years. Then We Met.