I Like Children - Fried.

Thou Shalt Not Steal-only From Other Comedians.

Prayers Never Bring Anything... They May Bring Solace To The Sap, The Bigot, The Ignorant, The Aboriginal, And The Lazy - But To The Enlightened It Is The Same As Asking Santa Claus To Bring You Something For Xmas

During One Of My Treks Through Afghanistan, We Lost Our Corkscrew. We Were Compelled To Live On Food And Water For Several Days.

If I Had To Live My Life Over, I'd Live Over A Saloon.

When Doctors And Undertakers Meet, They Wink At Each Other.