Ain't Fit For Man Nor

W. C. Fields, A Lifetime Agnostic, Was Discovered Reading A Bible On His Deathbed. ''i'm Looking For A Loop-hole,'' He Explained.

The Funniest Thing A Comedian Can Do Is Not Do It.

I Ad Lib Most Of My Dialogue. If I Did Remember My Lines, It Would Be Too Bad For Me.

I Always Keep A Supply Of Stimulant Handy In Case I See A Snake, Which I Also Keep Handy.

Somebody's Been Putting Pineapple Juice In My Pineapple Juice!