I Hope The Jews Did

My Mom Was Always Someone Who If, Even Now, I Say I Met A Certain Famous Person, She Always Says, "she's Married To So And So!"

I Remember My First Standup Act When I Was Seventeen; I Did A Really Lame Song About Being Flat Chested. I Was Doing It In New York, And I Remember Kevin Brennan, The Guy I Lost My Virginity To, Was Like "that Song Doesn't Make Sense, You Have Tits."

I Buy Water At The Liquor Store Across The Street From Where I Live. So I'm Walking Into The Door, And Standing, Loitering, Outside The Door Is A Man. And I Walk By Him To Go In, And He Says, "i Want Pussy!" Now, I Don't Want To Seem Conceited Or Anything, But He Was Talking About Me!

Scientology Is Weird Because It's New.

There Are So Many Great Comedies, Right Now. I Like How Comedies Are Really Mixing. They're Not Just One Thing. It Can Be Very Moving And Dramatic, And Yet Hilarious.