I Don't Really Care For

Jesus Is Magic, Because He Turned Water Into Wine. I Think He Made The Statue Of Liberty Disappear In The 80s Or Something.

If You Take A Shower With Your Boyfriend, I Guarantee By The Time You Step Out Of That Shower, Your Breasts Will Be Sparkling Clean.

Comedy Can't Live Within My Second-guesses, So I Started Doing New Material. Sometimes I Bombed. But You Have To Be Willing To If You Want To Move Forward And Stay Vital. It's Like People Who Take Pride In Not Having A Computer. I'm All, "great, Don't Learn New Things! Your Brain Is Full!"

It Feels Weird In Our Ear Holes To Hear People Worshipping A Guy Named Ron. We Know Rons In Our Life.

And We're Just All Made Of Molecules And We're Hurtling Through Space Right Now.