I Have A Simple Philosophy:

I've Always Believed In The Adage That The Secret Of Eternal Youth Is Arrested Development.

I Live By Three Rules: I Eat When I'm Hungry, Sleep When I'm Tired And Scratch When I Itch.

If You Can't Think Of Anything Nice To Say, Come Sit Here Beside Me.

If You Have Nothing Good To Say About Anyone, Come And Sit With Me.

[on Washington, D.c.:] A Town Of Successful Men And The Women They Married Before They Were Successful.