I Drink Therefore I Am.

I'd Rather Have Two Girls At 21 Each Than One Girl At 42.

If A Thing Is Worth Having, It's Worth Cheating For.

Ultimately Chess Is Just Chess - Not The Best Thing In The World And Not The Worst Thing In The World, But There Is Nothing Quite Like It.

I've Been Barbecued, Stewed, Screwed, Tattooed, And Fried By People Claiming To Be My Friends. The Human Race Has Gone Backward, Not Forward, Since The Days We Were Apes Swinging Through The Trees.

The Funniest Thing A Comedian Can Do Is Not Do It.