The Funniest Thing A Comedian

This Job Will Drive Me To Drink, And For That Reason, I Will Be Eternally Grateful.

Never Work With Animals Or Children.

My Main Ambition As A Gardener Is To Water My Orange Trees With Gin, Then All I Have To Do Is Squeeze The Juice Into A Glass.

All Englishmen Talk As If They've Got A Bushel Of Plums Stuck In Their Throats, And Then After Swallowing Them Get Constipated From The Pips.

Reminds Me Of My Safari In Africa. Somebody Forgot The Corkscrew And For Several Days We Had To Live On Nothing But Food And Water.