I Am A Man. And

When I Dropped Out [from A Law School], Everybody Was Disappointed... But I Found That Disappointing People Is A Good Thing, Because Disapproval Is Freedom. Before That, I Never Realized How Much I Sought Other People's Approval. Once I Figured That Out, I Was Free To Move On And Seek The Approval Of Other People, In Comedy Clubs And Showbiz Meetings.

Jumping Jacks Are Easier To Do Than Crawling Jacks.

If You Are Trying To Impress A Woman, Leave Any Sort Of Show Farting Out Of The Equation.

For Example, I Was A White House Intern The Summer Before I Dropped Out Of Law School. Everybody Knew About It. I'd Come Home And Go To Church And Everybody Would Say, Oh, My God. Demetri, You're Working At The White House.

Specifically In Stand-up, I Love Jokes. I Love Short, Structured Ideas And A Punchline.