Girls Are Like Pianos. When

I Never Yell, I Never Tell, But I'm Grateful As Hell.

Why Would I Make One Woman So Miserable When I Can Make So Many Women Very Happy?

I'm Not Against Half Naked Girls - Not As Often As I'd Like To Be.

Those Hot Pants Of Hers Were So Damned Tight, I Could Hardly Breathe.

I Thought I Couldn't Afford To Take Her Out And Smoke As Well. So I Gave Up Cigarettes. Then I Took Her Out And One Day I Looked At Her And Thought: 'oh Well,' And I Went Back To Smoking Again, And That Was Better.