I Never Yell, I Never

The Odds Against There Being A Bomb On A Plane Are A Million To One, And Against Two Bombs A Million Times A Million To One. Next Time You Fly, Cut The Odds And Take A Bomb.

Have You Noticed That All The People In Favor Of Birth Control Are Already Born?

Do Unto Others, Then Run

Before I Met Her, I Drank And Swore Without Reason... Now I Have A Reason.

Those Hot Pants Of Hers Were So Damned Tight, I Could Hardly Breathe.