Do You Know My Dream?

May You Have The Income Of A Republican And The Sex Life Of A Democrat!

I Get Sick Of That Old Rationalization, "we're Staying Together Because Of The Children." Kids Couldn't Be More Miserable Living With Parents Who Can't Stand Each Other. They're Far Better Off If There's An Honest, Clean Divorce.

If God Didn't Want Man To Hunt, He Wouldn't Have Given Us Plaid Shirts.

I Am Taking The Applause Sign Home, Putting It In The Bedroom.

George Burns Has Been On My Show Twenty Or Thirty Times, Or Maybe More. How Can You Turn Down A Guy That Age?