Dad Told Me To Stop

I Get No Respect. The Way My Luck Is Running, If I Was A Politician I Would Be Honest.

When I Told My Wife She Was Lousy In Bed - She Went Out - She Got A Second Opinion.

I Asked My Wife If She Would Put Out The Garbage. She Said Why Should I You Never Put Out For Me.

My Father Gave Me A Bat For Christmas. The First Time I Tried To Play With It, It Flew Away.

At Christmas Time We Couldn't Afford Tinsel, So We'd Wait Till Grandpa Sneezed.